Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize