DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
