I wannas sexs uuuuu
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
