So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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