I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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