he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize