yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
