Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
