I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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