i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
