5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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