I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
