she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
