It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
