when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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