I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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