i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
