I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We talked him into tasing himself.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
