you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
