my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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