a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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