Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
