Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
