how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
