At least make sure they are 18
Why
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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