he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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