You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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