when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
