I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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