Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
