mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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