neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
