so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
