I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
