Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How naked do you want me to be?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
