Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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