I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
