hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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