soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
