i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
