Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
