I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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