I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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