She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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