I want to walk on stilts...naked
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
