haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
