the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
