Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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