I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize