I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
