No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
