Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
