Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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