ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
