Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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