The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
