my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
