I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
