I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is Oprah even human
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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