Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
