Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
