Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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