I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
